“In order to be able to make and keep commitments… to enduring, intimate relationships… you need to be a certain kind of person. You need to be a powerful person. Powerful people take responsibility for their lives and choices. Powerful people choose who they want to be with, what they are going to pursue in life, and how they are going to go after it.”
“Unfortunately, most of us did not grow up to be powerful people… Most people don’t know that they can be powerful, or even that they ought to be. They are trained from a young age that someone else is responsible for their decisions, and all they have to do is comply and obey. This sets them up to struggle in multiple aspects of life, particularly with building healthy relationships.”
“Often the first thing that reveals a powerless mindset is powerless language. Frequent use of the phrases ‘I can’t’ and ‘I have to’ is a hallmark of a powerless person. ‘I can’t do that. It’s too hard. I have to clean the kitchen. I have to go to school. I have to spend time with so-and-so.’ All of these statements say, ‘I feel powerless to take responsibility for my actions, so I will say that someone or something else is making me do it.'”
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— Danny Silk, “Keep Your Love On”, Kindle location 180-87