Introduction
The good news about becoming a friend of God is that God already desires to be your friend!1 So you do not have to fear rejection, because He is already prepared to accept you whenever you decide that you want to be His friend.
The second piece of good news is that you do not have to change or clean up your act before becoming a friend of God.2 He already knows you even better than you know yourself,3 and even as you are, He is ready to welcome you. In fact, He knows that for many of us, it will seem an impossible task to clean up our act.
Once we become God’s friend, He promises a few things that will greatly help us. First of all, He promises us a new heart.4 What a new heart does for us is that it enables us to truly love God, and in many cases it frees us from things that we are ashamed of or unable to change apart from God’s help. Secondly, He promises to come and live in us.5 Talk about a close relationship! He loves us so much that He wants us to be free to share our hearts and lives with Him. And He wants us to know Him at a deep heart level, too.6
As we grow to know God better, we discover things about Him that just amaze us! One of those things is His faithfulness. We find that we are often willing to give up on ourselves, yet He never does. One of His most precious promises is that, in His own words, “I will never, never, never leave you or forsake you.”7 Contrary to what we see in many of our human relationships, God will not abandon us. This shows not only His great faithfulness, but His patience and willingness to put up with our shortcomings, too.
While we are not required to change to become His friend, our friendship with Him over time will lead us to change, so that our lives become pure and holy.8 He works in us from the inside out, gradually changing our hearts and desires, so that our actions reflect the internal reality of a changed heart.9 We become more like Him in character, like a mirror reflecting His image.10
God wants us to find Him
Centuries ago, the famous mathematician Blaise Pascal observed that there is a “God-shaped vacuum” inside each of us. That is to say, there is an empty place that only God can fill — we are made for relationship with God. What does that empty place feel like? It feels different to each of us, but it is characterized by a need for significance (i.e., purpose and meaning) and to be loved as we are.
Most of us try to fill these longings with things other than God. For example, we may throw ourselves into our work or a hobby, or sit in front of the television or computer for too long. Or we may try to find our ultimate fulfillment in a human relationship, or use alcohol or drugs to cover the pain and unfulfilled longing. Some people wrongly use church work, instead of God, to meet these needs!
Our lives have purpose and meaning, because we are valued by God — just as we are — without doing anything for Him. Nevertheless, God has created each one of us with a unique purpose, and has planned things for us to do to fulfill that purpose and accomplish His plans on this earth.11 Without choosing to be His friend, we will be unable to understand that purpose. But as we become His friend and learn to listen to the things He shares with us, we come to realize the positive, creative things He has prepared for us to do in partnership with Him.
God has been reaching out to us all of our lives, hoping that we would reach out to Him. Many of life’s experiences, including “random” conversations and “chance” meetings, are meant to draw us to God.12 God has been calling to us persistently in many different ways, but some of the ways He has been reaching out may have seemed so ordinary that we did not even realize it was God!
God has given us plenty of clues of His existence. Consider the magnificent beauty of the universe!13 Just look up into the starry sky, or stand on the shores of an ocean, or meditate upon the complexities of the human body, or admire the variety of His creatures. A second piece of evidence: God has given each one of us a conscience that tells us that there is a right and a wrong14, which in turn points to the One who ordained the moral order to the universe.
Our consciences also tell us that we have sinned (fallen short of God’s best for us).15 Our sin created a barrier between us and God.16 God sent Jesus into the world to remove this barrier, so that we could have genuine friendship with Him. Speaking of Himself, Jesus told His followers, “God sent His one and only Son into the world, that whoever believes in Him will have eternal life with Him”.17
Trusting Jesus
Jesus was sent into the world to triumph over sin and death,18 so that we could be set free. To do that, He had to live a morally perfect life, walking in obedience to God the Father, and finally to die on the cross to pay the penalty for the sins of all people.19 Then, after three days in the grave, He rose again (literally, came back to life),20 and after seven weeks on this earth, was taken up to heaven without dying again.21
Jesus said that He is “the Way, and the Truth, and the Life,” and that no one comes to God the Father except by Him.22 This is quite a serious claim! If it is true, then His words not only guide us to God the Father, but they also warn us not to look elsewhere. If the words are not true, then Jesus was either a con artist or delusional.23
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If we want to have friendship with God, we begin by confessing to God our desire to be forgiven and reconciled to Him. We accept by faith that the sacrifice Jesus paid on our behalf was sufficient for our sins. Then we can invite God to come and live in us, promising that to the best of our ability, we will follow Him all the days of our lives. These steps are taken by talking to God, either out loud or in our minds. He’s always listening.
Some of you reading this may not yet feel convinced that Jesus is the only way, or that faith in Him is sufficient to begin a friendship with God. For you, I have a few suggestions. One is to start talking to God. God is genuinely interested in friendship with you, and if you listen carefully with your heart, He will reveal Himself to you. Second, consider doing a little reading in the Bible. There are four books in the Bible that talk about Jesus’s life on earth. I recommend reading at least one of these. For action oriented people, try reading Mark. For relationship oriented people, try John. Matthew and Luke are also excellent. You can probably read any of these in under two hours, even if you read slowly.
Another suggestion is to talk with a trustworthy friend or acquaintance who you know is a follower of Jesus. Most followers of Jesus are delighted to talk about their faith.
Growing in faith
The Christian faith is meant to be relational, and cannot be genuinely lived apart from a community of people who are committed to following Jesus.24 That means that it is important for new believers to find a local congregation that they can become part of. In a functioning congregation, those who have been believers longer can mentor those new to the faith. Everyone encourages everyone else. New believers, in particular, have a way of bringing excitement and enthusiasm to more mature believers, and have a way of challenging the faith of those who may have become a little complacent.
Not all people who call themselves Christians have a genuine faith, and not all congregations are nurturing places for new believers. Some contain a large number of people lacking in faith. Others have a performance orientation (legalism) that proclaims salvation through faith, but in practice shows a belief in meeting certain behavioral standards to be acceptable to Christ. Finding the right congregation can take some time, but don’t give up! And don’t forget to ask God to guide you in finding the right place.
It is important for new believers to read the Bible themselves, if possible. There are many English translations available. People who prefer the traditional rendering in something close to Shakespearean English tend to read the King James Version, or its updated version, the New King James Version. A very popular version that is relatively easy to read is the New International Version. Another even easier to read Bible that has come on the market recently and seems to be immensely popular is the New Living Translation.
Many Bibles come with a commentary, which can be useful for all believers, especially new ones. Some popular Bibles with commentaries are the Life Application Study Bible and the NIV Study Bible, but there are numerous other good commentary Bibles and translations.
A lot of believers try to read a little bit from the Bible each day. A manageable target might be to read a chapter, which should probably take less than five minutes. The Bible is not like a normal book: for the new believer, it is better to start in the New Testament, rather than at the beginning, which is the Old Testament. The New Testament tells about Jesus and the early Church, while the Old Testament tells about the Jewish faith from which Christianity was born.
New believers should set aside time to pray daily. Prayer is simply talking to and listening to God. This is where real friendship with God develops. Sometimes it’s hard for us to hear Him because He generally speaks gently to us, and we are often so full of thoughts and worries that we cannot quiet ourselves well enough to listen. That seems to come with practice and with patience.
The Bible challenges us to pray continually,25 implying that we should endeavor to be aware of God’s presence with us throughout the day.26 However, for the set apart times of talking and listening to God, try establishing a habit that you can live with — perhaps only ten minutes — then increase the length of time as you are able. You could even combine this with your daily Bible reading time.
Some believers find that they need longer blocks of time to be able to listen to the Lord, often an hour or more. Perhaps some days can be shorter times while others are set apart for longer times. Start small, and do not be afraid to experiment. Above all, don’t get discouraged if you fall short of your goals. God is remakably patient and understanding. Remember, the objective is to have a life-giving, intimate relationship with God, not to fulfill some dreary obligation.
Our nearness to God is often greatly facilitated by worshipping God. Worship is calling to remembrance the life-giving character of God and the many blessings we have received from Him — and then expressing our gratitude and love. Worship does not require music, but many believers find that they are aided by songs written to express their heart to God. For many people, music itself expresses feelings beyond what words can say. Art and serving others are a couple of other ways that people use to worship.
Notes
1Bible references will be included in endnotes rather than in the main text. For more on this particular reference, see John 3:16 (shorthand notation for the book of John in the Bible, chapter 3, verse 16), John 15:13-15, and 2 Timothy 2:4 (the 2 in front of Timothy is because there are two letters to Timothy, and the one referenced is the second one). 2Romans 5:8; Heb 4:16. 3Psalm 139. 4Ezekiel 36:26; Ezekiel 18:31 5John 14:23-28. 6Ephesians 3:17-19. 7Hebrews 13:5, based on the Amplified version. 8John 14:15; Hebrews 12:14; 1 Peter 1:14-16. 9Philippians 2:13, 3:15. 10Galatians 5:22-23. 11Ephesians 2:10. 12Acts 17:24-28. 13Romans 1:18-23. 14Romans 2:12-15. 15Romans 3:23. 16Romans 6:23. 17John 3:16. 18Colossians 2:9-15. 19John 3:13-18. 20Luke 24; Matthew 28; Mark 16; John 20. 21Acts 1:1-11. 22John 14:6. 23C. S. Lewis, “Mere Christianity”. 24Hebrews 10:24-25; 1 John 4:20-21. 251 Thessalonians 5:17. 26Henri Nouwen, “Spiritual Direction”.