I am taking a class in which each month focuses on an important attribute of a life-giving church. This month the topic is honor, and the lesson is for us to treat everyone with honor. We have heard many definitions of honor, so let me tell you what I have taken away as my working definition: to see and acknowledge the intrinsic worth and even glory in another human being. Previous “honor movements” have tended to get the “low” to honor the “high”. In this movement, everyone honors everyone, and honor begins when the ones at the top start demonstrating how to.
One of the most difficult things for followers of Jesus to do well is to know how to handle people who have failed morally, especially those who are not necessarily repentant. How can we treat such people with honor? Furthermore, I have friends who have gifts of being able to see things of the Spirit, and some of these friends can see clearly the secret sins of some people’s lives. How are those folks supposed to handle what they see? I am thankful that we have an excellent example of these issues in the Bible, in which Jesus models for us what to do.
This story is familiar to many of us, but most of us have not considered it from the perspective of honoring the dishonorable. The story is in John 4, and it is the story of Jesus talking to a Samaritan woman in the heat of the day at a well. Jesus could see prophetically the failings of this woman: she had five husbands already (by implication, she had been divorced five times), and she was living with a man that she wasn’t even married to.
Furthermore, because she was drawing water in the heat of the day, some commentators suggest that she was shunned by the women of her village. You can probably picture how some followers of Jesus would interact with this woman if they knew: most would probably avoid her entirely, and others who are more likely to confront would simply tell her to repent or she would go to hell.
But Jesus takes a completely different approach: he asks her for a drink of water. This shocks her! Not because she thinks he knows about her past (and present) — Jesus hasn’t revealed that yet — but because Jews generally felt morally superior to Samaritans, and men morally superior to women. So how was it he would give her the time of day? To show honor, we have to be humble, and Jesus showed us that even the greatest can choose to humble themselves.
We often think serving someone is the main way to humility, but truthfully, an equally valid sign of humility is to admit you have a need that you need someone else to help you with. Why do you think men typically don’t ask others for directions?! Here, Jesus asks for her to give him a drink of water from the well. By doing this, Jesus models the first key for honoring someone: be vulnerable, exposing your own neediness, and thus giving them honor that they are legitimately needed — that they have strengths or assets that you don’t have.
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A second point that is implicit here is that sinful as this woman was, Jesus did not see her as hopeless or too dirty to change. He saw her sin, but he saw beyond her sin. He knew what she could become if her sin were dealt with — if she could be set free from sin and become the woman that she was intended by God to be. Jesus considered her worthy of his honor, respect, love, and time.
The next thing he did wasn’t to speak about her sin, but he entered into a discussion about God. He honored her by considering her open to receive spiritual meaning, even a woman from an outcast race who herself was an outcast from among her people. Finally, after showing her the way to connect with God, he revealed that he knew about her sin — yet remained non-condemning and respectful. And she responded to his words. The transformation must have been dramatic, because she ran back to the village and told those who would listen. Many believed her and put their faith in Jesus. Who would believe an outcast, unless that outcast was very different than she had been just a short while earlier?
As Jesus showed us, when we live a culture of honor, we might see miracles take place in the lives of people that we would never expect to change. We might see masterpieces revealed from underneath a dark shroud. Let us learn from Jesus and walk as Jesus did — and not neglect treating a single person with honor!
The idea for this talk came from listening to a discussion between Bill Johnson, Paul Manwaring, and Steve Backlund from Global Legacy / Bethel Church in Redding, California. They were pointing to instances in which Jesus honored people who had failed morally, and mentioned the story of Jesus with the Samaritan woman at the well. The individual points above are my own, so I am fully responsible for errors, etc.
I really liked your application of these principles to the verses. I see a tendency in Christians today to want to point out what’s wrong with the world and with the church. This may seem hypocritical, but I think that what’s wrong with the body of Christ is the idea that it’s our place to point out what’s wrong with the body of Christ. The people who are most vocal about others needing to be held accountable seem to hold shame as the ultimate goal, not restoration.
There’s a slippery slope on either side. Too far to one side and you sound sanctimonious and holier-than-thou. But, on the other side you run the risk of grace being abused and of becoming an enabler.
When faced with someone dealing with the consequences of sin, is it my responsibility to try and convict them of their sin? While acknowledging sin and feeling regret are obviously integral parts of the puzzle of repentance, so are grace and kindness.
Honestly, I feel like we try to superimpose onto others our interpretation of what we believe our own position to be in relation to the Father. If I feel constantly condemned, I’ll want to help others see themselves the same way. If I feel like I’m a recipient of grace and mercy, I’ll want to help others see themselves the same way.
I appreciate this “culture of honor” idea, as someone who hasn’t been, isn’t, and more than likely won’t be perfect on this earth.