10 Keys to a Life Long Friendship with God

Key Point 1: Be reconciled to God.

The Bible teaches that there is only one way to be truly reconciled to God. Reconciliation comes through believing in Jesus, God’s one and only Son, who died on a cross to pay the penalty for our sins. The kind of belief referred to in the Bible is more than an intellectual agreement. It means that we believe so completely that we will love Him all the days of our lives, and follow Him in loving obedience in every area of our lives.

  • John 3:16 (NIV) “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
  • 2 Corinthians 5:18,20 (NIV) God… reconciled us to himself through Christ… We implore you…: Be reconciled to God!

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Key Point 2: Seek out and be open to receiving God’s revelations of His personal love for you.

When we start to grasp the depth of love God has for us, then we are able to respond with a deeper love for Him than we thought possible. This is the amazing secret of being filled with God to overflowing. To paraphrase Mike Bickle, our love for God cannot rise above what our heart-level understanding of His love for us is. People that are confident in God’s love for them are able to soar above their circumstances and live lives that reflect the heart and power of God, radiating His glory to all around.

  • Ephesians 3:17-20 (NIV) I pray that you… may have power… to grasp how… deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge — that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. [God] is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.

Key Point 3: Learn to hear God’s voice and spend time listening to Him and sharing your hearts together.

A true relationship is a two-way street. If one person does all the talking all the time, then it is not much of a relationship. The same is true of our relationship with God. Prayer is communion with God. It involves us sharing our heart, but also being sensitive to hear His heart. It is true that the Bible is a very important avenue through which God speaks to us, but it is not the only avenue. God lives inside us, and His Spirit speaks to us in our hearts (our spirits). He longs for us to spend time with Him, listening. For most of us, it takes time to learn what He sounds like, but the investment is well worth the results in our level of intimacy with Him.

  • John 10:14-15,27 (NIV) “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me — just as the Father knows me and I know the Father… My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.”
  • Exodus 33:11 (NIV) The LORD would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend.

Key Point 4: Practice being aware of God’s presence.

The Bible challenges us to pray continually. Henry Nouwen points out that it is hard for most of us to be concentrating fully on two things at once. So what the Bible must mean is for us to endeavor to be aware of God’s presence with us at all times, as we would, say if we were working hard on the computer while sitting in the same room with a loved one. We might not be actively engaged in conversation with them, but we feel and acknowledge their presence with us. We can do the same with the Lord, and when we are not mentally engaged in other things, we can turn more of our attention to the Lord.

  • 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NIV) Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
  • Psalms 37:7 (NIV) Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him.

Key Point 5: Do some things that are only meant to be expressions of your love for God.

This is probably one of the greatest secrets for growing passion in your heart for God. Practice some kind of secret expression (i.e., hidden from others) of your love for the Lord. For example, I know someone who used to spend time in the evenings singing to God where no one else could hear. It was a simple expression of love that in turn spurred more passion for God. Matthew chapter 6 speaks about this in saying that when you give gifts to the poor, or pray to God, or fast, do it in secret, so that you may receive your reward from God and not people. It then speaks about investing our treasures in heaven, not on earth.

  • Matthew 6:19-21 (NIV) Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Key Point 6: Consistently try to obey God in everything.

Jesus quotes from Isaiah 29, speaking about people who honor God with their lips, but their hearts are far from God (Matthew 15:8-9). Those whose hearts are close to God are those who seek to honor Him with their whole lives. This comes through developing a desire and practice to please and obey God in everything. We do this by listening carefully to the promptings of the Holy Spirit within us.

  • John 14:21 (NIV) “Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me.”
  • Galatians 5:16 (Ampl) But I say, walk and live [habitually] in the [Holy] Spirit [responsive to and controlled and guided by the Spirit]; then you will certainly not gratify the cravings and desires of the flesh (of human nature without God).

Key Point 7: Cultivate a heart of worship, and attitudes of thankfulness and joyfulness.

We mistakenly think that we can become more Christ-like if we can just change our actions and control our tongues. The truth is that the only real way to change the part of us that others can see is to change the part that they cannot see — our hearts. The only way to do that is to practice new attitudes in our hearts. Worshipping God, bringing to mind all that we have to be thankful for (and learning to be thankful for the rest, as well), and rejoicing at all times — these are habits of the heart that lead to genuine fruits of the Spirit being exhibited in our lives.

  • Philippians 4:4,6-7 (NIV) Rejoice in the Lord always… Rejoice! Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
  • 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NIV) Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Key Point 8: Seek God’s direction and partner with Him in the work and ministry He has prepared for us to do.

God has a magnificent plan for our lives that is tailored to fit who we are and how He made us. He wants to partner with us in accomplishing significant things for the sake of His Kingdom. As we learn to be yoked together with Jesus, He show us what that plan is. And while He is with us and guiding us, there seems to be plenty of room for our own creativity to be expressed in our joint enterprise.

  • Ephesians 2:10 (NIV) For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
  • Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV) Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Key Point 9: Commit to a group of brothers and sisters in Christ who will encourage us, challenge us, and complete us; and to whom we will do likewise.

God gives to each one of us gifts of the Spirit. But it seems that He never gives one person all the gifts. He made us so we would need each other. God intentionally gives us weaknesses that He won’t remove, probably because we would stop depending on Him and on our brothers and sisters if we did not have those weaknesses.

  • 1 Corinthians 12:4-7 (NLT) Now there are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but it is the same Holy Spirit who is the source of them all. There are different kinds of service in the church, but it is the same Lord we are serving. There are different ways God works in our lives, but it is the same God who does the work through all of us. A spiritual gift is given to each of us as a means of helping the entire church.
  • 1 Corinthians 12:12,14,19-20 (The Message) Your body has many parts — limbs, organs, cells — but no matter how many parts you can name, you’re still one body. It’s exactly the same with Christ… I want you to think about how all this makes you more significant, not less. A body isn’t just a single part blown up into something huge. It’s all the different-but-similar parts arranged and functioning together… But I also want you to think about how this keeps your significance from getting blown up into self-importance. For no matter how significant you are, it is only because of what you are a part of. An enormous eye or a gigantic hand wouldn’t be a body, but a monster. What we have is one body with many parts, each its proper size and in its proper place. No part is important on its own.
  • 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 (NLT) But to keep me from getting puffed up, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from getting proud. Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My gracious favor is all you need. My power works best in your weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may work through me. Since I know it is all for Christ’s good, I am quite content with my weaknesses and with insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Key Point 10: Keep learning from the Bible.

Many of the previous Keys to a life-long friendship with God depend mightily on the teachings of the Bible keeping us from going overboard into deception. Furthermore, there are truths deeply imbedded in Scripture that can only be mined through repeated reading and study of God’s Word, surfacing only after we have invested in its discovery.

  • 2 Timothy 3:16-17 (The Message) Every part of Scripture is God-breathed and useful one way or another — showing us truth, exposing our rebellion, correcting our mistakes, training us to live God’s way. Through the Word we are put together and shaped up for the tasks God has for us.

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